…filling the Naked Slate

Chick a dee dee dee…chick a dee dee
Chick a dee dee dee,,,chick a dee dee.

…a week had past with very little activity.

Melody and Me began their descent down the hill toward the tiny village.  Me was very nervous…her tummy was fluttering with anxious emotion.
It had been many years since Me’s last involvement with society.  The memories caused her hands to sweat…her body stiffen.    She began to recognize familiar faces, bringing back countless memories of prior relationships…many creating anxious sentiment as she recalled  who these faces expected her to be and who she actually was.  She recognized that fear was now waning in her body.  Immediately Melody’s firm warning asserted in her mind… ” it  is only fear that can end your Journey  my child “..this journey that she so desperately needed to give to herself.  Melody immediately sensed this change.  Me’s self-doubt was returning.  Fear was knocking at Me’s front door.
Me lowered her head, no longer looking at what was before her.  Fear was Me’s only enemy here.  It had the power to remove all of the dynamism of the Forest of the Naked Slate.  It could steal all of the growth Me had thus far made in filling her Naked Slate.  It could remove all of her desire to ask questions and questioning was the only way to fill her Slate.  Without questions…there was no Journey. With no Journey mediocrity would become her norm.

Me’s endless questioning as a child was never welcomed.  She had questions about everything.  Why must I like pink more than blue?….Why am I to like dolls more than trucks?   Why does God make be feel like a sinner when he is supposed to love me?  Why do people think because I love art…I am not using my full potential?  Why because I love playing sports am I a tomboy?  Why can’t I have a horse?  What do you mean I can’t be too successful? Why can’t I live with the man I love without marriage?  Why will I not be full as a woman if I do not have children?  Why is it so important that I give you grandchildren?  Why can’t I date a black man?  Why are Polish people dumb?  Why don’t you hug me?

This behavior over time caused her to be shunned by Society.   She was told her questions took conversation too deep…it was not her place to ask…it made others uncomfortable… so Society chose to ignore her.  For a number of years she walked alone but never lonely…It was when Melody and Freedom entered  into her life a second time… that her life began.

Melody spoke…relax my child…take a deep long breath of the fresh air that surrounds you…no one can see you…no one can judge you…no one can tell you who you are or who you must be.  Come…let’s find a place to sit.  Silently they walked up the trail finding an inviting bench.  Me sat and stared at the beauty around her as Melody perched herself in the huge hemlock behind.

remember fear is your only enemy here.  You must push through its stranglehold and grasp the person you seek so hard to be.  You have chosen Soul to be your guiding force as fear forces you into its battles.  Now is the time. 

Me closed her eyes…she allowed herself to feel the wind singing around her hungry body and the sun warming her naked face.  Her mind went into the past…back to when she first began to search for what “could be”…learning how to remove the clutter from her mind…reaching deep into what she was beginning to recognize as Soul.  It was so new:  actually knowing that something inside belonged to her…something that was not defined by the compilation of Society’s beliefs.

She would never forget the first time that her “self” elevated into a cognizant consciousness that settled her…that felt as if her own body was embracing her.  It was the first embrace with her Soul. The first of many to come.

Me returned to her focus…to her mission…to fill her Naked Slate.

01.16.2021

…a state of mind…080420

Suns’ setting was ending its display as Me reached out to Freedom and wrapped her arms around his big belly for a warm hug.  The pandemic…now moving into its 6th month…was not leaving any time soon.  The earth’s silence endured.  Me continued to embrace the noiselessness for it allowed her to step back into yesterday.  She returned to her visionary moments  frolicking with Melody and Freedom as they had so many years ago…while guiding her journey to fill her Naked Slate and becoming one with Soul.  Freedom had returned in her visions… making it perfectly clear to her that death was only a state of mind. She had missed him so.  He missed her too. The pandemic did not allow them to return home.  Home was their favorite place on earth: the Bayfield water’s edge on the great lakes basin where the diamonds danced each night as the Sun’s magic created a window of heaven on earth below.
So they deepened their imaginary search and created a new space…in this new world…in this new time.  The water’s of the great lakes region still surrounded them…Sun’s magic still glistened on the water’s basin to the west as the diamonds found heaven on earth below.  It too became perfectly clear. Home was not a place…but a state of mind with Soul.

DSC00354 (2)..chickadee dee dee chickadee dee…chickadee dee dee….chickadee dee..
08 04 2020

…Pandemic… 042520

Four weeks of the shutdown had passed.  The Pandemic had encompassed the way life was lived on earth. Never had the earth been literally shut down…people living stationary lives in their homes.  Work…school…sports…restaurants…parks were closed.  Social interaction was no longer allowed.  Social distancing was mandiated.

  It reminded Me of years ago when as a young women she lived along the Great Lakes basin alone with Melody and Freedom with no existence of humankind.  It rekindled old emotions of when she  was introduced to what it meant to be free…learning to accept what she could not be and embracing what she was.   With Melody…her chickadee mentor and Freedom her loyal donkey guardian..they journeyed  through a silent civilization called the Forest of the Naked Slate.  It was there…through a courageous battle with her fears that she became one with her Soul.  Together they began to fill her Naked Slate… removing societies definitions of who she was to be….  defining who she was.  Over time she learned how to walk freely in an active social society….dismissing its definition of her and reaching outside of her comfort zone to embrace the individual she was.  With the Pandemic’s need for society to be silent….she embraced this time… for it returned that peace from her past.  She still ached to be back at the water’s basin dancing with Freedom…watching Sun’s diamonds as they danced on the water before her and listening to Melody as she transcribed the words of Ghost who was the complicated emotions of  her Soul.
That was long ago…
Me was moving into her 65th year.  Her explorations out of her comfort zone continued to fill her Naked Slate as she and Soul moved together through life.  Freedom died not long after their Journey…her heart still heavy from his loss.  His last words to her were that she carry forward to another what he carried forward to her: acting as guardian to another as they journeyed to fill their Naked Slate.  He was now at peace resting high above the water’s edge on the bluff  where she always felt most loved.  Here the Sun would visit every evening exploding with diamonds across the waters as it found its way to earth. Together Melody, Freedom and Me would cuddle until dark would take the water away….leaving only the sound of the waves lapping against the shore below.  It too was where she buried her satchel that held all of her precious possessions, prior to her journey: the magic metal that reflected light…the woven matt: her bed as she ly against Freedom’s warm belly at night…and her precious beach glass.  She would rest next to him again someday….Melody would be beside her too.

Melody was perched in a birch tree not far from Me attempting to open the sunflower seed that she pulled from the feeder next door.  She never got the hang of it….Me and Freedom always teased her about her clumsiness.

Chicka dee dee dee…Chicka dee dee
Chicka dee dee dee…Chicka dee dee

“Good Morning Melody”
“Good Morning my Child….so where are we going to explore outside of your comfort zone today?”
04.24.2020