Chick a dee dee dee…chick a dee dee
Chick a dee dee dee,,,chick a dee dee.
…a week had past with very little activity.
Melody and Me began their descent down the hill toward the tiny village. Me was very nervous…her tummy was fluttering with anxious emotion.
It had been many years since Me’s last involvement with society. The memories caused her hands to sweat…her body stiffen. She began to recognize familiar faces, bringing back countless memories of prior relationships…many creating anxious sentiment as she recalled who these faces expected her to be and who she actually was. She recognized that fear was now waning in her body. Immediately Melody’s firm warning asserted in her mind… ” it is only fear that can end your Journey my child “..this journey that she so desperately needed to give to herself. Melody immediately sensed this change. Me’s self-doubt was returning. Fear was knocking at Me’s front door.
Me lowered her head, no longer looking at what was before her. Fear was Me’s only enemy here. It had the power to remove all of the dynamism of the Forest of the Naked Slate. It could steal all of the growth Me had thus far made in filling her Naked Slate. It could remove all of her desire to ask questions and questioning was the only way to fill her Slate. Without questions…there was no Journey. With no Journey mediocrity would become her norm.
Me’s endless questioning as a child was never welcomed. She had questions about everything. Why must I like pink more than blue?….Why am I to like dolls more than trucks? Why does God make be feel like a sinner when he is supposed to love me? Why do people think because I love art…I am not using my full potential? Why because I love playing sports am I a tomboy? Why can’t I have a horse? What do you mean I can’t be too successful? Why can’t I live with the man I love without marriage? Why will I not be full as a woman if I do not have children? Why is it so important that I give you grandchildren? Why can’t I date a black man? Why are Polish people dumb? Why don’t you hug me?
This behavior over time caused her to be shunned by Society. She was told her questions took conversation too deep…it was not her place to ask…it made others uncomfortable… so Society chose to ignore her. For a number of years she walked alone but never lonely…It was when Melody and Freedom entered into her life a second time… that her life began.
Melody spoke…relax my child…take a deep long breath of the fresh air that surrounds you…no one can see you…no one can judge you…no one can tell you who you are or who you must be. Come…let’s find a place to sit. Silently they walked up the trail finding an inviting bench. Me sat and stared at the beauty around her as Melody perched herself in the huge hemlock behind.
…remember fear is your only enemy here. You must push through its stranglehold and grasp the person you seek so hard to be. You have chosen Soul to be your guiding force as fear forces you into its battles. Now is the time.
Me closed her eyes…she allowed herself to feel the wind singing around her hungry body and the sun warming her naked face. Her mind went into the past…back to when she first began to search for what “could be”…learning how to remove the clutter from her mind…reaching deep into what she was beginning to recognize as Soul. It was so new: actually knowing that something inside belonged to her…something that was not defined by the compilation of Society’s beliefs.
She would never forget the first time that her “self” elevated into a cognizant consciousness that settled her…that felt as if her own body was embracing her. It was the first embrace with her Soul. The first of many to come.
Me returned to her focus…to her mission…to fill her Naked Slate.
01.16.2021
My ghost in me... 