L.V.R.E.F.G…2016

100neew camera 1128 042 My Child:
During this coming year…
L… Live in the moment
V…Volunteer your time to others
R…Read to continue learning
E…Exercise to feel alive
F…Forgive those unforgiven
G…Take guilt and throw it away                                                   


Ghost
12.31.15
Lake Huron

 

Melody…an introduction

Summer2012 041Me loved her Melody…  They had been  inseparable since birth.  She was her cherished, invisible friend.  Melody was a chickadee.  No one could see or hear her…except Me.
Together: they explored childhood. They giggled… they cried… they grew.  As time took Me from infancy  into adolescence, she feared that Melody would one day be gone: vanished from her life. She could not imagine life without her Melody.  “No one as an adult had an invisible friend”… she would tell herself.  Mama kept telling her that too.
Melody was silently perched in her favorite birch tree a short distance from where Me was restlessly seated.  It was a beautiful sun-filled afternoon. She sensed the uncomfortable emotions that these thoughts provoked in Me and could feel her confusion. Closing her eyes, Melody took a deep breath.  She smiled as her imagination seized the moment and took her and Me into the future…their future.

…Melody saw everything different.

Fear-

Me was mentally exhausted.  Deep sleep came quickly as she hung tight to Freedom’s coarse mane.  Soon her mind began to open to the universe.  Color and form came forward, taking her into her dreams.  She was back at the county garage, twelve years earlier where the incident occurred. She saw herself lying in a pool of blood after falling from her bicycle… motionless. Melody was perched next to her left ear.  She was witnessing her invented friend move into another form, no longer imaginary in her mind. She was acknowledging that they were no longer separate…they were one. They now spoke without verbal communication. Me needing only to listen: to feel.

Going deeper into her universe of dreams, Me spiraled slowly, awkwardly, inward.  A bright energy was drawing her in as an unidentifiable dark force was pulling her out. She came to identify the bright energy as Melody and the dark force as Self.  Her person was fighting between who she was and what society had defined her to be. It seemed forever: drawing in, pulling out, lost in time.  Visuals began to flow through her mind.  Words that held emotion: love/hate/fear/guilt/anger/forgiveness.  It was the visual emotion of fear that stopped the chaos in her dream. She suddenly realized it was fear that controlled the dark force in Self. Fear had absorbed her person. Fear was the villain that held the power to invade and destroy her journey, her search, to fill her Naked Slate.

Me woke into darkness, still hanging tight to Freedom’s mane. It was late evening.  Freedom held evidence of the day’s journey.  His body now damp and dusty.  His gate slow and awkward.  Melody was balanced between his alert ears. They were speaking softly as Me moved out of her dreams.

Melody are we there? Are we where we are supposed to be?
My child it is you that must tell us so. It is only you who knows the direction of this journey.

 Me raised her head looking into the darkness in front of her.  She could see nothing but was aware of what felt to be a wall surrounding her. Her sense of smell was aroused like never before. She felt as if she was wrapped inside a cocoon. It felt claustrophobic yet safe.Bayfield 0613 038
Yes…we are.
This is where I want to be.

Melody do you know where this is, where we are?
Yes my child…I do.
We just entered into the Forest of the Naked Slate.

Me looked behind.  It was just in time to see the last trace of light before the cocoon of darkness closed upon them.

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Departure-

It was a beautiful day as Me, Freedom and Melody left the water’s edge.  Sun’s rising filled the sky with overwhelming pinks and blues. August2011 041 She knew these were Me’s favorite colors.  Sun also knew that this was her last shared moment before the journey took her treasured friends away. This was her final embrace. It was now in Me’s control: her journey to fill her Naked Slate; her travels to unite with her Soul.  Sun had confidence in her conviction of Freedom as her guardian and Melody her interpreter and guide.
Their departure: a wrenching turmoil of emotion.

Me, Freedom and Melody decided they each needed to say their own private goodbye.  Parting in separate directions: drawing all emotion inward, they took their final walk in this beautiful land that they called home.

Me loved the shoreline. She began to inhale giant gulps of the fresh air dancing toward her as the waves lapped up onto the sand over her bare feet.  Water cascaded between her toes.  Filling her lungs deeply she became dizzy losing her balance, falling to her knees.  Looking to the east she caught sight of Sun’s gift that morning; her colors pink and blue. Sun had not lost sight of Me since her early rising.   Her morning light quivered as cloud cover hid her moistened rays.  She was silent.  She could not respond. The journey had begun.

Freedom took his favorite path up onto the bluff where he and Me slept many nights. Walking the hazardous course, his feet stable in their grasp of the earth, he chuckled as he reflected on the numerous times Me would clutch his thick mane grasping the safety that Freedom gave her as they climbed the bluff together.  Once settled in their favorite bed on earth, watching the stars that ran through the universe; Me would snuggle into Freedom’s warm belly.  Freedom would then wrap his head and big leaf-like ear’s over as much of Me’s small frame as he could. He loved his ears.  For so many years mocked and ridiculed for their size, he always believed they had more purpose than just to hear.  Suddenly, instinctually, he gazed down toward the shoreline looking for Me, searching for confirmation of her safety.  Me was just below.  Freedom loved Me beyond words.  He too was afraid, questioning his ability to protect Me during this journey of the unknown.  As he stared into the water’s horizon a vision of Adam came into sight.  Calm soon began to fill his body as Adam whispered into his ear reassured words describing his tremendous physical and mental strength.

Melody returned to her favorite birch tree.  Her small tummy was anxious and trembling. She knew nothing about anything. She only knew her duty was twofold: Guide and Interpreter.   As Guide she was to lead Me outside of her comfort zone in search of uniting with Soul.  As Interpreter: once outside of her comfort zone, when confusion would overcome, Melody would fulfill her greatest duty Interpreter of Me’s Soul.

It was mid-morning before Melody, Freedom, and Me broke camp and were on their way.

Chick a dee dee dee
Chick a dee dee

Melody… where are we going? said Me.
We are on our way to somewhere, my child.
How can we be on our way to somewhere not knowing where somewhere is?
Somewhere is not a located place, my child.
Somewhere is inside…inside of You.
We will know when we arrive, for You will know.

Me looked at Melody confused.

Silence filled the air.

The day was beginning to feel the afternoon sun. It was the time of day when the diamonds visited the water’s basin as Sun worked toward touching the earth.  Me could feel it.  She wept. She missed the peace that the diamonds brought to her during this time of day.

Why do you weep my child?  Melody softly spoke.
I hurt inside Melody.  I loved where I was and I do not know where I am going.   I now understand.  I now see that as Sun would find her settled ground and the diamonds faded into the sea, I would electrify, feeling connected, feeling safe,  feeling free.

My child listen to your words, feel your emotions. Could this emotion be etching into your Naked Slate?  Are you missing the diamonds out of habit or are you missing the diamonds because they are part of who you are?

They are a part of me Melody.  They are who I am.

Then my child, do not be afraid of their loss, be joyful for their discovery.   Be comforted knowing that you will forever seek Sun and her diamonds, for they define who you are.

Silence filled the air…

Hours filled the time.

Me struggled as she tried to understand Melody’s message. Her head was swimming.  She closed her eyes.  With both arms, she tightly squeezed Freedom’s warm neck sensing his comfort.  She became aware of her tiny satchel against her body separating their touch.  Settling into calm; she slept.

02.05.15