…pondering thought

A week had passed.  Me spent most of her time alone, only engaging when it was time to eat or sleep.    Melody and Freedom watched as she held animated conversations with herself during the day and spoke loudly in her dreams at night.  They knew what was happening and knew that they could not intervene.  Me was interacting with her Foundation of Thought.  For the first time in her life, she began to make sense of the confusion that surrounded her about the conflicting messages that society defined her to be and what she intrinsically believed she was.  The fact that she was born a healthy Caucasian girl was her only given.  The family she was born into and the social norms that surrounded them, set the stage for her introduction into this world. Each family member had their own “Foundation of Thought” …their own interpretation of this world.  As each passed on their individual beliefs, she digested these perceptions in her infant mind…creating her own Foundation of Thought.  At the same time… the society where she lived also defined who she was and what she was expected to become.

She began to realize that the foundation created for her was far different than the triggers that came loaded in her person.

… the religion she was introduced into had the greatest impact on these triggers.  Her inquisitive perseverance conflicted directly with the fervent focused teachings of her religions’ elders.

…just as important…her family’s interpretation of love and its lack of development in their foundation’s.  Affection…compassion…appreciation…respect…encouragement.   Her mind and body craved all of these emotional attachments that she could not understand or define.

She found herself revisiting conversations of long ago with Melody when search was introduced to her…questioning how the mind can stand still…remembering Melody’s words as if it was yesterday. Your mind stands still when there is no communication with the past, present, or future.  It is then that the senses are set free, and Soul begins to be heard.  You do not talk to Soul in a literal sense.  Through your thoughts you listen, and you feel. Talk as we know it, is irrelevant.  All questions are already known because you are one with Soul.  It is the answers that you seek…you just need to listen and feel what is being said.

 

 

Me continued to hear Melody’s words…

Emotion will guide you.  It is when you can feel the emotion of Soul that you awaken your own distinct  identity. This emotion arouses search within you…inspiring you.  A journey evolves: exploring your persona.  The result:  you begin to fill your Naked Slate.  As you discover who you “in fact” are, you remove what society has mistakenly chosen you to be.  Your success will resonate through the respect and love that you will begin to give yourself having acknowledged your true strengths, weaknesses, fears, and demons.  Truth will become your power as peace becomes your friend.

Me recounted the first time she connected emotion with Soul.  As she buried her focus deeper and deeper within, removing the past, present and future from her person, an emotion triggered inside of her being. It almost felt as if her own body was embracing her.  It was new…it was foreign…it was surreal.

All was becoming clear.

Melody…my Melody where are you…do I have a Ghost inside of Me?

 

 

…Foundation of Thought

Emotions were finding their way into Me’s person as she buried herself into thought, listening to unwelcomed words being spoken from voices within.  Words she did not want to hear…part of her person she did not want to acknowledge. Part of her that she had buried deep.

Melody was perched in the pine sapling not far away trying to peck into a beech nutshell.  It was not going well and Melody squeaked with frustration.  Me chuckled to herself before speaking.

Melody…why am I afraid of people and uncomfortable with anxiety when I am with them? Why do I always want to leave before I even arrive? Yet…it fills my heart with happiness to extend kind gestures into others’ lives when personal interaction is not a necessary component of giving.   My greatest enjoyment is entertaining me…looking at what is…seeing what could be. Aloneness has always been my comfort zone…my best friend.  I choose to be the leader of my own imagination.  I do not long for the imaginations of others nor societies opinion of words. Yet society defines me by my interaction within it wall’s.  Is this selfish of me?  Is this disrespect of mankind?   Please do not tell me what society thinks of me is not important, for it is.  I want love.  I want to be loved.  

Melody silenced her battle of the beechnut.  She dropped down and perched herself on the stump next to Me…facing her directly as Me sadly gazed into the bustling village some distance down below. Freedom was sleeping not far from her. Me could hear his gentle breath as he lay motionless in his dreams.

Let us walk My Child… Lets begin to explore this land you chose to be home as you fill your Naked Slate.

With little hesitancy, Me rose to her feet. She gently called to Freedom to join them. She hugged him tightly as he gathered to his feet, shook the sleepiness from his brow and stood with huge raised donkey ears ready to lead. With no further words spoken, Me began to walk directly opposite: away from the old oak tree that had become home…away from all that was familiar.

Melody spoke…  It takes tremendous tenacity to search deeply…listen silently… hearing truth about who you intrinsically are. Understand that your person owns a “Foundation of Thought”.  This foundation begins its development during the earliest years of your life when your existence is completely dependent on those around you.  During this time, your mind and body act as an enormous sponge, digesting, internalizing and interpreting all life experience and emotion that is introduced into your young world:  positive and negative.   These interpretations now dominate your character as you define all future decisions moving into your adolescent and adult life…unless you choose to intervene.

DSC06270

My child you are energized by calm environments, you embrace solitude.   In this solitude you choose to turn inward.  This is characteristic of introversion and this is the core of your uncomfortable interaction within society.  Introversion is genetic.  It is a part of your DNA and cannot be removed from who you are.  It is your Foundation of Thought that defines the level of introversion that you take into society and determines the level of your awkwardness and distress when with others.  A nurtured child who is encouraged to go out into society and knows that they can be anything defines their introversion much differently than the child who is not encouraged to challenge the world and is told they can be nothing. Introverts often find that others try to change them or even suggest that there is something wrong with them.  Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, Sir Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin, Frederic Chopin were all introverts.  Introversion has and always will create a significant contribution to society.  Cling to your introverted creativity. This is the exact reason why you are here in the Forest of the Naked Slate.  You have chosen to intervene your Foundation of Thought.  To do so you must chose to live outside of your comfort zone, confronting the fears in your Foundation that keep you a prisoner inside yourself.  That keep you from becoming one with Soul .

 

Me and Freedom continued walking the dirt path traveling further from anything familiar.  Melody had taken her favorite perch on Freedom’s forehead between those beautiful ears.   Me had no desire to return.  As they reached the summit of a very long steep incline, Me fell to her knees in exhaustion.  She lay back in the tall grasses that surrounded her as she gasped for air to enter her tired lungs.  Considerable time passed.  Finally her lungs found peace once more.   As she rose to her feet and took her first view of the land surrounding her…she  gasped at what she saw in the far distant land.

Medody…Melody…is that my basin of water?   The shore that  we left so long ago?   Will I see Sun again?  

Melody responded...chickadee dee…chickadee…dee…dee     chickadee dee…chickadee…dee…dee

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The family of  Soul…

Me:  Society’s definition of who I am
Soul:  My Spiritual Core.
Ghost:  The emotion’s of Soul.
Foundation of Thought: My guide for all decisions.
Forest of the Naked Slate:  My search for Soul
Melody:   My translator of Soul
Freedom: My friend and guardian

 

mediocrity

… something was on Me’s mind on this beautiful morning.  Day’s had continued to pass with little movement from the mammoth tree with the protective umbrella of leaves that was her first night’s home in the Forest of the Naked Slate. Her self-doubt was beginning to fade as Soul continued to bring clarity to what she believed. Confidence began to emerge as she looked directly and deeply into the eyes of Melody and Freedom when speaking and her shoulders pulled back with excellent posture. Melody was perched just above her as Freedom  stretched out next to her on this day.

Chick a dee dee dee…chick a dee dee

Chick a dee dee dee…chick a dee dee

Melody tell me more about mediocrity.   For days I have been watching the village below…exercising  its daily chores.  So little eye contact observed…so few words spoken between one another.   Yet amongst all this silence… the beauty and inspiration of the surrounding land overflows with words to be spoken.

My child … reflect back to your journey with Freedom to the Museum of History.  There you were introduced to this unspoken curse in history.  You noticed the continuous absence of life in the eyes of the historical images you viewed over the centuries.  You could sense the empty detachment of emotion in daily activity.  Throughout the ages this routine became the unspoken way of life.  It became what life was defined to be. It was safe…the best that life could be…it was happiness.   A word was introduced into society in the 1500’s that defined this way of being: mediocrity…dull… common…ordinary…uninspired…indifferent.  

Melody…why did people allow this to happen?

…my child it happened without knowing.  Since the beginning of time mankind has been defined by unspoken characterizations of who one is by the hierarchy of its people.  It begins from the moment one is born into the family that one is born into, in the community that one lives.  Upon birth the hierarchies of local precedent clearly define the expected roles of male and female.  There is no question of this role for history speaks of its clarity.  It is safe…it is defined happiness.  It is the process of a successful life.  Little is challenged for question creates distress…distress creates friction in a society’s norms…it is feared…therefore those who question are rejected by their community.  It is this hierarchy of definition that has created mediocrity in mankind.

…Melody…I do not want this to happen to me.  I want to question all that is around me.  I want to learn what is not taught.  I want to feel what is not spoken. I want to love my “Me”.

Yes…Freedom and I know my child.

 This is why you chose this location in the Forest of the Naked Slate to continue your journey.

Freedom and I are here to guide you as you continue this pilgrimage to fill your Naked Slate, becoming one with Soul. Find peace in your heart.  You are where you need to be.

Me continued to fixate on the faces below her…her heart felt heavy.  She began to see clearly her mission to save herself.

11.17.2020

…filling the Naked Slate

Chick a dee dee dee…chick a dee dee
Chick a dee dee dee,,,chick a dee dee.

…a week had past with very little activity.

Melody and Me began their descent down the hill toward the tiny village.  Me was very nervous…her tummy was fluttering with anxious emotion.
It had been many years since Me’s last involvement with society.  The memories caused her hands to sweat…her body stiffen.    She began to recognize familiar faces, bringing back countless memories of prior relationships…many creating anxious sentiment as she recalled  who these faces expected her to be and who she actually was.  She recognized that fear was now waning in her body.  Immediately Melody’s firm warning asserted in her mind… ” it  is only fear that can end your Journey  my child “..this journey that she so desperately needed to give to herself.  Melody immediately sensed this change.  Me’s self-doubt was returning.  Fear was knocking at Me’s front door.
Me lowered her head, no longer looking at what was before her.  Fear was Me’s only enemy here.  It had the power to remove all of the dynamism of the Forest of the Naked Slate.  It could steal all of the growth Me had thus far made in filling her Naked Slate.  It could remove all of her desire to ask questions and questioning was the only way to fill her Slate.  Without questions…there was no Journey. With no Journey mediocrity would become her norm.

Me’s endless questioning as a child was never welcomed.  She had questions about everything.  Why must I like pink more than blue?….Why am I to like dolls more than trucks?   Why does God make be feel like a sinner when he is supposed to love me?  Why do people think because I love art…I am not using my full potential?  Why because I love playing sports am I a tomboy?  Why can’t I have a horse?  What do you mean I can’t be too successful? Why can’t I live with the man I love without marriage?  Why will I not be full as a woman if I do not have children?  Why is it so important that I give you grandchildren?  Why can’t I date a black man?  Why are Polish people dumb?  Why don’t you hug me?

This behavior over time caused her to be shunned by Society.   She was told her questions took conversation too deep…it was not her place to ask…it made others uncomfortable… so Society chose to ignore her.  For a number of years she walked alone but never lonely…It was when Melody and Freedom entered  into her life a second time… that her life began.

Melody spoke…relax my child…take a deep long breath of the fresh air that surrounds you…no one can see you…no one can judge you…no one can tell you who you are or who you must be.  Come…let’s find a place to sit.  Silently they walked up the trail finding an inviting bench.  Me sat and stared at the beauty around her as Melody perched herself in the huge hemlock behind.

remember fear is your only enemy here.  You must push through its stranglehold and grasp the person you seek so hard to be.  You have chosen Soul to be your guiding force as fear forces you into its battles.  Now is the time. 

Me closed her eyes…she allowed herself to feel the wind singing around her hungry body and the sun warming her naked face.  Her mind went into the past…back to when she first began to search for what “could be”…learning how to remove the clutter from her mind…reaching deep into what she was beginning to recognize as Soul.  It was so new:  actually knowing that something inside belonged to her…something that was not defined by the compilation of Society’s beliefs.

She would never forget the first time that her “self” elevated into a cognizant consciousness that settled her…that felt as if her own body was embracing her.  It was the first embrace with her Soul. The first of many to come.

Me returned to her focus…to her mission…to fill her Naked Slate.

01.16.2021