mediocrity

… something was on Me’s mind on this beautiful morning.  Day’s had continued to pass with little movement from the mammoth tree with the protective umbrella of leaves that was her first night’s home in the Forest of the Naked Slate. Her self-doubt was beginning to fade as Soul continued to bring clarity to what she believed. Confidence began to emerge as she looked directly and deeply into the eyes of Melody and Freedom when speaking and her shoulders pulled back with excellent posture. Melody was perched just above her as Freedom  stretched out next to her on this day.

Chick a dee dee dee…chick a dee dee

Chick a dee dee dee…chick a dee dee

Melody tell me more about mediocrity.   For days I have been watching the village below…exercising  its daily chores.  So little eye contact observed…so few words spoken between one another.   Yet amongst all this silence… the beauty and inspiration of the surrounding land overflows with words to be spoken.

My child … reflect back to your journey with Freedom to the Museum of History.  There you were introduced to this unspoken curse in history.  You noticed the continuous absence of life in the eyes of the historical images you viewed over the centuries.  You could sense the empty detachment of emotion in daily activity.  Throughout the ages this routine became the unspoken way of life.  It became what life was defined to be. It was safe…the best that life could be…it was happiness.   A word was introduced into society in the 1500’s that defined this way of being: mediocrity…dull… common…ordinary…uninspired…indifferent.  

Melody…why did people allow this to happen?

…my child it happened without knowing.  Since the beginning of time mankind has been defined by unspoken characterizations of who one is by the hierarchy of its people.  It begins from the moment one is born into the family that one is born into, in the community that one lives.  Upon birth the hierarchies of local precedent clearly define the expected roles of male and female.  There is no question of this role for history speaks of its clarity.  It is safe…it is defined happiness.  It is the process of a successful life.  Little is challenged for question creates distress…distress creates friction in a society’s norms…it is feared…therefore those who question are rejected by their community.  It is this hierarchy of definition that has created mediocrity in mankind.

…Melody…I do not want this to happen to me.  I want to question all that is around me.  I want to learn what is not taught.  I want to feel what is not spoken. I want to love my “Me”.

Yes…Freedom and I know my child.

 This is why you chose this location in the Forest of the Naked Slate to continue your journey.

Freedom and I are here to guide you as you continue this pilgrimage to fill your Naked Slate, becoming one with Soul. Find peace in your heart.  You are where you need to be.

Me continued to fixate on the faces below her…her heart felt heavy.  She began to see clearly her mission to save herself.

11.17.2020

…filling the Naked Slate

Chick a dee dee dee…chick a dee dee
Chick a dee dee dee,,,chick a dee dee.

…a week had past with very little activity.

Melody and Me began their descent down the hill toward the tiny village.  Me was very nervous…her tummy was fluttering with anxious emotion.
It had been many years since Me’s last involvement with society.  The memories caused her hands to sweat…her body stiffen.    She began to recognize familiar faces, bringing back countless memories of prior relationships…many creating anxious sentiment as she recalled  who these faces expected her to be and who she actually was.  She recognized that fear was now waning in her body.  Immediately Melody’s firm warning asserted in her mind… ” it  is only fear that can end your Journey  my child “..this journey that she so desperately needed to give to herself.  Melody immediately sensed this change.  Me’s self-doubt was returning.  Fear was knocking at Me’s front door.
Me lowered her head, no longer looking at what was before her.  Fear was Me’s only enemy here.  It had the power to remove all of the dynamism of the Forest of the Naked Slate.  It could steal all of the growth Me had thus far made in filling her Naked Slate.  It could remove all of her desire to ask questions and questioning was the only way to fill her Slate.  Without questions…there was no Journey. With no Journey mediocrity would become her norm.

Me’s endless questioning as a child was never welcomed.  She had questions about everything.  Why must I like pink more than blue?….Why am I to like dolls more than trucks?   Why does God make be feel like a sinner when he is supposed to love me?  Why do people think because I love art…I am not using my full potential?  Why because I love playing sports am I a tomboy?  Why can’t I have a horse?  What do you mean I can’t be too successful? Why can’t I live with the man I love without marriage?  Why will I not be full as a woman if I do not have children?  Why is it so important that I give you grandchildren?  Why can’t I date a black man?  Why are Polish people dumb?  Why don’t you hug me?

This behavior over time caused her to be shunned by Society.   She was told her questions took conversation too deep…it was not her place to ask…it made others uncomfortable… so Society chose to ignore her.  For a number of years she walked alone but never lonely…It was when Melody and Freedom entered  into her life a second time… that her life began.

Melody spoke…relax my child…take a deep long breath of the fresh air that surrounds you…no one can see you…no one can judge you…no one can tell you who you are or who you must be.  Come…let’s find a place to sit.  Silently they walked up the trail finding an inviting bench.  Me sat and stared at the beauty around her as Melody perched herself in the huge hemlock behind.

remember fear is your only enemy here.  You must push through its stranglehold and grasp the person you seek so hard to be.  You have chosen Soul to be your guiding force as fear forces you into its battles.  Now is the time. 

Me closed her eyes…she allowed herself to feel the wind singing around her hungry body and the sun warming her naked face.  Her mind went into the past…back to when she first began to search for what “could be”…learning how to remove the clutter from her mind…reaching deep into what she was beginning to recognize as Soul.  It was so new:  actually knowing that something inside belonged to her…something that was not defined by the compilation of Society’s beliefs.

She would never forget the first time that her “self” elevated into a cognizant consciousness that settled her…that felt as if her own body was embracing her.  It was the first embrace with her Soul. The first of many to come.

Me returned to her focus…to her mission…to fill her Naked Slate.

01.16.2021

…the weapon

Days passed…Me would not move from her place beneath the oak tree on the bluff.  Fear had shattered her confidence and despair was beginning to set in.  Melody and Freedom could only watch from afar…waiting for Me to make her first attempt to challenge Society’s definition of her.   The Forest of the Naked Slate had been filling her head with society’s expectations the moment she entered.  She had not felt these expectations since before the incident twelve years ago.  The forest was doing exactly what was expected of it. It brought Me face to face with the raw expectations of her existence.  Melody could sense the sadness, the fear, the lack of confidence. As Me’s guide… she knew she needed to intervene.

Melody sat perched in the cradle of the beautiful oak tree.  She dusted herself off and slowly made her way to where Me was sitting.

 Chick a dee dee dee
Chick a dee dee

Chick a dee dee dee
Chick a dee dee

 My child…what is the pain that you feel?
I see you loathe your position.
I see the heaviness in your heart.
Talk to me….please talk to me.

…no words were spoken.  Afternoon fell into dusk…dusk into evening.
Finally, Me spoke:

I miss my home Melody.  I miss the water…I miss Sun…I miss my diamonds…I miss playing along the waters edge with Freedom. I want to go back Melody. Please…please take me back.  Here….my head is filled with chaos and confusion of who I am supposed to be.  At the water’s edge my existence was clear. I want my other life back with just you, Freedom and me.

 My child you must remember why you are here. Our life at the water’s edge was just the beginning of this journey to fill your Naked Slate.  As we both know, you were no longer being challenged…no longer asking questions…no longer seeking knowledge.  Remember when you began your search for what “could be”?  You taught yourself how to remove the clutter from your mind…you reached deep …you met Soul and learned from Soul.  Soul helped you realize that what is inside of you is precious and belongs only to you.  You decide who you are, not the definition that society has created for you.  The Forest of the Naked Slate is challenging everything about you that is not in Society’s definition of you. Fear is its weapon.  You must decide what your weapon will be.

 Me’s eyes met Melody’s for the first time since their arrival.  Melody could see the anger beginning to ease as Me’s body language softened.

Melody continued…

Remember when you visited the museum with Freedom and learned about mediocrity? Through pictures you saw how Society’s static definition of mankind has permeated our history for centuries.  This mediocrity has become the safe haven of man and woman’s definition of how they see themselves in this world.  It is a comfort zone that most seek as life’s fulfillment. But life is not fulfilled…for Soul has never been met… You have chosen to meet Soul.

Melody watched as Me wrestled within her thoughts…time continued to pass…it was late into the evening before she finally spoke again.  Freedom had taken a position beside her and his nose was nuzzled in her lap.
…Finally she spoke

…it is Soul who will be my weapon.

 

Society…

Chickadeedeedee
Chickadeedee
Chickadeedeedee
Chickadeedee

Me: again in her fetal position, lay quietly in sleep as Melody sang into her blood bathed ear.  It was mid-morning and Me had not yet woken. Freedom was in the woods behind searching for berries and water to drink.

Chickadeedeedee
Chickadeedee
Chickadeedeedee
Chickadeedee

Me’s eyes slowly opened.  Immediately above her she recognized the huge umbrella of green that she could only sense above her body while in darkness the night before. It was a beautiful Oak.  No words were immediately spoken. 072516 021 As Me pulled herself up and off the ground into a sitting position, she began to look around her and “take in” her chosen location of their first night in the Forest of Naked Slate.

The sight took her breath away. They were situated
on the top of an enormous bluff: below into a deep ravine was housed the flowing body of a magnificent river that rolled as far as her eyes could see.  She began to squint, unable to clearly identify what she saw next.  It looked to be a village.  She gasped.

Melody…Do people live here?
Yes…People do live here my child.
Is this Society?
Yes…this is Society.

No…no…Take me back Melody…please take me out of the Forest of the Naked Slate. Take me away from here.  I don’t want to be in Society.  I don’t want Society to again tell me who I am.  Society will only continue to define me as someone I am not. Please…please…take me back.  I have been so happy since the “incident” …living with you and Freedom being fed by the diamonds given to us by the Sun as we lived beside the Great Basin. 

My child…it has been years since you have been in Society.  And yes…Society did define you: and yes…you did not accept the manner in which you were defined.  You were young…very young.  You believed deeply something was wrong…very wrong.  This acknowledgement created a suppressed empty void  deep inside your person. Unknowingly, you began to search.  You began “searching for a feeling”.  You had total ignorance of what this feeling was… where this feeling was …. or how this feeling would be identified once felt.  The only element that you were certain of, was that the search was entirely internal and that the void inside of you would not sustain life without being filled.  This was when you found “Me”…your Melody…your imaginary friend.  With your Melody you began a quest to find emotions not recognized by Society.  Soon you realized that the only skill you needed to master  was the ability to effectively question. Once mastered: your constant questioning aggravated and threatened Society…it panicked…therefore it chose to define you the only way it knew: to alienate.

My child…let us go back to your dream. What happened in your dream?

 I was dreaming about all that you have taught me…said Me.   I was pulling myself inward going deeper and deeper touching sensitive emotions, both good and bad…embracing them…loving who I am… finding this peace that you have taught me how to find.  Then suddenly my dream changed.  A deep dark angry force enveloped these emotions, challenging their validity and purpose, creating fear that strangled everything I believe.  This force began pulling me outward, back to the surface to an emotionless state of fear and confusion.  I was back in Society’s hold.   Fear robbed the self-love I had found for me…it strangled it…it killed it. Everything I have learned from you was taken from me.

 Though her heart racing, Melody spoke with calm…My child it is fear that steals success in this forest.  You have now been introduced to its powers. Here in the Forest of the Naked Slate, your intrinsic beliefs will be contested and challenged as you become one with Soul.  This encounter, instigated by Society will be fierce.  Society deems its judgement as the only authority to define what you believe.  It will use fear as its armor to take from you, your connection with Soul. The tools that you acquired  during your years at the Great Basin will be vital here.  These tools will guide your decisions as you continue to fill your Naked Slate: as you begin to uncover and embrace the peace that you have searched so hard to discover.

My child you need to understand…In the Forest of the Naked Slate no one see’s you.  Only you see you: as you venture into the roles that Society has defined  for you.   “Fear” will be your nemesis as these society defined roles present themselves and you choose to challenge who you are told you are. You and Soul together will move outside of your comfort zone, rearching into your core.  By confronting your fears… tearing away the unwelcomed society defined roles, freedom will be won…the Naked Slate will fill and you will be one with Soul.

02.02.2017

Spoken…

Dark silence had filled the air.  All that could be heard was Freedom’s labored breath and his hoof’s as they glazed against the surface dust of the earth. It was a cool night.  There was no setting sun…no feeding of the diamonds…no basin of water to bathe before bed. 072516 022
“Stop”… said Me.  It is here that we will sleep.   As she dismounted, her legs buckled from the weight of her body.  This was the first time that her body had left the security of Freedom’s warm hold since leaving this morning.   Able to only distinguish soft dark shapes around her: Me worked her way slowly to what looked to be a large unidentifiable tree.
As she walked closer to its base she could feel a huge umbrella of surrounding leaves above.  It felt close. Here ….let’s sleep here.  Freedom fell immediately to his knees.  As he lay on his side he displayed the warmth of his under belly.  Me formed into her fetal position and placed her body next to his warm side. Melody perched on the top of Freedom’s exposed hip. Exhausted…sleep came fast.

Back into her dreams… Me again slowly spiraled inward: following the bright light: feeling the sensation of silent calm as she began to touch her vulnerable emotions.  Then suddenly: just like earlier…the dark force that she now recognized as “fear” swept her back into her original state where there was no emotion at all. Again…back and forth…back and forth…back and forth. She could not control the power of “fear” inside of her.  Her body began to twitch…her eyes rolled uncontrollably as REM sleep kept her in her dream. She was trapped inside of herself.  The fear mounted…her body began to dampen…soft moans came from her lips. She began to hyper-ventilate.

Melody was deep into a conversation with Soul, when she noticed that Me was struggling to breathe. Immediately she jumped down onto Me’s shoulder and began to peck at her left ear:  no response… With firm consistent strokes she began to poke her ear again and again.  A small amount blood began to pool.  Freedom had by now awaken and he lye silently still as Melody struggled to get Me outside of her dream. Harder and harder she continued to jab.  Blood was beginning to spill over onto Freedom’s brown coat. Please wake my Child…please wake.  Suddenly:  Me vaulted to her feet.  She began to cry uncontrollably….unable to find air to fill her lungs…grasping into the dark.   Melody surveyed the situation in silence.  She jumped back to her place on Freedom’s hip as blood dripped from her tiny face:  the consequences of her effort to relieve Me from her horrifying dream. Melody continued her silent quietness. Hours passed…Night moved into morning with no words spoken and no comfort bestowed.

Both Melody and Freedom knew exactly what happened:  The Forest of the Naked Slate had spoken.